Balloon Boy versus Balloon Dog. Landing this Saturday at a park near you.

Balloon Boy
vs. Balloon Dog

Balloon Boy:
Falcon Heene (Brutal Name, this kid faces major bullying I'm sure)

1. Six-year-old Falcon Heene was believed to have climbed into an experimental hot air balloon
2. Balloon was believed to have taken off with the boy inside
3. Balloon launched from his parents' home in Fort Collins, Colorado
4. Balloon was filled with helium, reaching nearly 10,000 in altitude
5. Unconfirmed reports stated the boy may have fallen out
6. Boy's brother saw the boy climb into the craft before it launched
7. Balloon made of mylar, resembling a UFO
8. Landed at around 3:30 p.m. EST
9. Boy was not in the balloon when it landed
10. Boy later found hiding in the attic of the family's garage

 Verdict: This kid's life is a helium filled Bird of Mess

Balloon Dog: Lacie Tulk (the world's most beautiful puppy princess)

1. 17 month old Lacie Tulk will be forced into an experimental doggie balloon boy suit on October 31st
2. The balloon dog suit will make several appearances at Dog-o-ween parties with the puppy inside.
3. Balloon dog will be launching from the Pawsway at Harbourfront and landing at Garrison park at Fort York.
4. The balloon will be filled with Jenn’s hot air. Unconfirmed suspicions are that larger less bubblicious dogs may eat the balloon and Lacie may fall out.
5. Lacie will try to resist the suit, but Jenn will squeeze her into it before launch.
6. Balloon is made of shiny silver mylar-like fabric, resembling a DFO. (doggie-flying-object).
7. Will launch at around 2:30pm EST, landing time is 4:30pm EST
8. Lacie may not be in the balloon at landing time. It is suspected she will be found hiding in her crate, crying for a new owner.

Verdict: It's "ruff" being owned by Jenn. Meow.